


The Mini Adventures of the Hanyu Household

by StuffandFluff



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: Crack, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 14:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14451537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StuffandFluff/pseuds/StuffandFluff
Summary: The Hanyu household has been a peaceful abode through its six years of existence. And this cold winter day is not different at all. Or not.





	The Mini Adventures of the Hanyu Household

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stormcallsthestorm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormcallsthestorm/gifts).



> I'm back people! Before reading the fic I just want to say that crack is not my forte. I just want to be a little chill and kinda' stray away from angst after the "issue" that happened.
> 
> Also, this fic is a spin-off of The Mini Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. I suggest that you check some videos of this cute series to familiarize yourself to how the narrator and Pooh sounds and what are his famous lines. After all, nothing will lose from watching the silly old bear that our adorable skater loves.
> 
> Lastly, I do not own the character of the narrator, Pooh, Piglet, Yuzu and Zhenya. They are an owned copyright of Disney while the last two are entities of their own. 
> 
> With that, on with the fic!

**NARRATOR:** Deep in the Hundred Acre Wood, Winnie the Pooh and his friends have done some quite amazing things and if I'm correct, we have just enough time to see one. It all starts when Piglet went to Pooh’s house and they deci-

 

**POOH:** Um, excuse me Mr. Narrator.

 

**NARRATOR:** Yes, Pooh?

 

**POOH:** I think you're supposed to tell another story this time.

 

**NARRATOR:** Oh, I forgot. Thank you for reminding me, Pooh.

 

**POOH:** Don't mention it.

 

**NARRATOR:** Now, let's start again, shall we? The Hanyu household has been a peaceful abode through its six years of existence. And this cold winter day is not different at all.

 

**YUZU:** Kuso!*

 

**NARRATOR:** Or not. The head of the Hanyu household stood in front of a mirror, fumbling on his tie that seems to be just tightening as he fumbled on. His cussing attracted the attention of his partner in life, who is on her way out of their room carrying a full bag of laundry. She abandoned it by the door and went closer to his “struggling” husband.

 

**ZHENYA:** What now?

 

**YUZU:** My tie is stuck…

 

**ZHENYA:** Tsk tsk tsk. You're 33 now. And still you can't do it properly.

 

**YUZU:** I'll be so better jumping quints than tying a Windsor knot.

 

**NARRATOR:** Zhenya ignored her husband’s whines and just fixed his tie to a perfect Windsor knot. 

 

**ZHENYA:** Why did I marry a child like you? There! All done.

 

**NARRATOR:** The joyous husband hugged his doting wife to show his appreciation and maybe to teasingly annoy her.

 

**ZUZU:** What will I do without you, honey!? 

 

**ZHENYA:** Matte!* Matte! I can't breathe! And you'll gonna be late! You'll still travel to the NHK Trophy venue! What will TV Asahi say to their commentator when he suddenly comes late?

 

**YUZU:** Hai!* Hai! I'll try to be back early. Don't miss me too much.

 

**NARRATOR:** The playful husband winked at his wife to prove his point and she answered by rolling her eyes playfully.

 

**YUZU:** I’ll take my leave now.

 

**NARRATOR:** Yuzu left Zhenya a kiss then went out of the room to his car to drive to his work. A smiling Zhenya was left in the room. They've been married for six years and he still makes her feel giddy. She pushed off the thought and picked up her laundry from the floor, opened the door and…

 

**ZHENYA:** AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! 

 

**NARRATOR:** Behind the door is a little girl about the age of five wearing a pink shirt and white skirt. She has a long, brown, wavy hair adorned by a large pink ribbon. She also has an angelic and innocent face. Her small, brown eyes are looking up at her questioningly. She clutched her chest in shock, her bag of laundry once again abandoned on the floor. 

 

**ZHENYA:** Yuzuki Jane Hanyu! What in the world!? Why do you keep popping up all of a sudden like a mushroom!? 

 

**YUZUKI:** I'm my Papa’s daughter, that's why.

 

**ZHENYA:** He only has mushroom hair back then, Yuzuki. 

 

 **YUZUKI:** He's a ninja though.

 

**NARRATOR:** It seems that not only the daughter managed to inherit his father's “mushroomness” but also his troll qualities. 

 

**ZHENYA:** Oh my God! My daughter is just like his father. This is not good!

 

**NARRATOR:** She starts pacing the room disturbed, thinking how she can “discipline” her daughter when she heard her asking a favor.

 

**YUZUKI:** Mama, let's play!

 

**ZHENYA:** Later Yuzuki, okay? Mama needs to do laundry first.

 

**YUZUKI:** I really want a playmate, Mama!

 

**ZHENYA:** Yuzuki, Mama told you right? I need to do laundry first. Why don't you go first to your room, okay? Color your coloring books for now. I’ll follow later.

 

**NARRATOR:** Yuzuki produced an adorable pout in the likeness of his father’s but heed her mother's order as she marched to her room, mumbling something that shook her mother.

 

**YUZUKI:** I don't understand. Uncle Nobu said it's easy to “make a playmate”. What is taking my Mama and Papa so long?

 

**NARRATOR:** As the cute kid closed her room’s door, her mother released an exasperated sigh.

 

**ZHENYA:** Nobu senpai! What the hell are you teaching my daughter!? Ugh!

 

**NARRATOR:** Zhenya decided to contact and reprimand Nobu in a different time and proceeded downstairs to the laundry room. Afterwards, she put the washed clothes in the dryer and set it to work, playing with Yuzuki in her room while waiting for the drying process to finish. When the bouncy girl fell asleep after playing, she tucked her to bed and went downstairs again to fetch the dry clothes when all of a sudden… 

 

**ZHENYA:** Oh my God! No!

 

**NARRATOR:** What seems to be the problem?

 

**ZHENYA:** No! No! No! No! This cannot be happening! My husband will literally kill me!

 

**NARRATOR:** And who wouldn't be scared? The beloved Pooh bear is inside the drier, some of the stitches securing the cotton inside now gone, the cotton filling is all over the inside of the dryer. It's a disaster.

 

**ZHENYA:** I'm dead… No! Think! Think! Think! 

 

**POOH:** She stole my line… 

 

**NARRATOR:** Evening comes. Yuzu tried to be back home early but the event pushed through until late at night. As he parks his car outside their house, he can't help but feel happy. Inside the house is a different case. Zhenya's nervousness rose when she saw the headlights of his husband's car. When he went inside, she just sat straight at the sofa, unmoving. 

 

**YUZU:** What? No welcome home kiss and hug?

 

**NARRATOR:** She hesitantly walked to her husband giving him the kiss and the hug he deserves for his long commentary job well done though he can't shake the feeling that something’s not quite right.

 

**YUZU:** Where is Yuzuki? 

 

**ZHENYA:** She's already asleep.

 

**YUZU:** Hey, are you alright? What's wrong? 

 

**ZHENYA:** L-Let's sit down first. 

 

**NARRATOR:** They made their way to their sofa and sat down. The atmosphere in the room is quite heavy if you're to ask me.

 

**YUZU:** Okay, seriously, what's the problem?

 

**ZHENYA:** You will love me no matter what, right?

 

**YUZU:** What kind of question is that? Of course I will! 

 

**ZHENYA:** Even if I did something wrong?

 

**YUZU:** Wait, what is really going on here!? 

 

**ZHENYA:** IaccidentallydestroyedPooh-san! 

 

**NARRATOR:** Yuzu laughed so hard seeing this strange yet adorable actions of his wife. His wife is still the same, cute lady he married six years ago.

 

**YUZU:** Wait, why are you talking so fast? I thought I'm the master of machine-gun talking. Slow down.

 

**ZHENYA:** I accidentally destroyed Pooh-san… 

 

**NARRATOR:** Yuzu's smiling face dropped and as Zhenya recount what happened his face gradually transformed to his infamous murderface. 

**ZHENYA:** I washed Pooh-san then put him in the dryer. When I opened it, the stitches are ruined and Pooh-san’s cotton are all over the dryer.

 

**YUZU:** ................................ 

 

**ZHENYA:** But I already sew him back together, Love! You can see for yourself! He's in our room! 

 

**YUZU:** ................................

 

**ZHENYA:** Why is your face like that?

 

**NARRATOR:** Maybe, um, he's so happy you were able to fix Pooh and his face can't contain it?

 

**ZHENYA:** Am I ugly? 

 

**YUZU:** Huh? 

 

**ZHENYA:** Am I replaceable? 

 

**YUZU:** What?

 

**ZHENYA:** Then why!? Doushite?* Why is it always Pooh-san!? 

 

**YUZU:** Why is it always Pooh-san?

 

**ZHENYA:** That's it! I'm leaving!

 

**YUZU:** Wait. What do you mean?

 

**ZHENYA:** What do you think I meant?

 

**YUZU:** Wait! You're not leaving! You fixed Pooh-san back, right? It's alright now! Hey, Zhenya wait! Okay, I'll buy you more Sailormoon collectibles! Just don't leave! 

 

**ZHENYA:** Really? 

 

**YUZU:** Of course.

 

**ZHENYA:** Thank you!

 

**NARRATOR:** As they hug, the wife can't help but think of how lucky she is. Her predicament is over with just a little drama with some bonus along the way. Meanwhile, the husband feels like he's now experiencing karma because of how he took advantage of how whipped his friend Javier is to him. If only he can turn back time.

 

**YUZUKI:** I want a playmate… 

 

**NARRATOR:** They saw their daughter standing by her door. It's not for too long as she went inside again and closed the door.

 

**ZHENYA:** She's sleepwalking again… 

 

**YUZU:** What's with the playmate thing?

 

**ZHENYA:** Oh, I was doing laundry earlier and I still can't play with her that's why she said that she wants a playmate. By the way, I suddenly remember! Talk to your friend!

 

**YUZU:** Huh? Who?

 

**ZHENYA:** Nobu Senpai! 

 

**YUZU:** Why? What did Nobu do? 

 

**ZHENYA:** He told Yuzuki that it's easy “making a playmate”. Well, you're not like him! He already had a baby while he's still competing. We have our own pace and timi- Yuzu! What are you doing!? Put me down!? 

 

**YUZU:** Well, I always want to spoil my daughter so I guess let's just follow Nobu’s advice…

 

**ZHENYA:** Hey, Yuzu I cooked for you! You haven't eaten yet, right?

 

**YUZU:** Food be damned!

 

**ZHENYA:** Hey, I cooked that for you! 

 

**YUZU:** Later! 

 

**NARRATOR:** With that their bedroom door shut and the Hanyu household is once again at peace.

 

**POOH:** Oh, bother!

 

**NARRATOR:** After nine months, Yuzuki finally got what she wished for. How? Well, that's an entirely different story for an entirely different time. 

 

**ME:** NOT! 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> *Kuso - Shit  
> *Matte - Wait  
> *Hai - Yes  
> *Doushite - Why
> 
> I am not a native Japanese speaker so you're free to correct me if I'm wrong.


End file.
